Out on my run this morning, I had a thought...1st one of the year (run outside that is). It was really more of a question. Am I deserving? Deserving of what? All good things.
It started with me praying to God about strength and courage for things that occur in life. I said "Although I am not deserving..." then it hit me.
Why did I say that? Is that not planting the seed of doubt in my mind that I don't deserve good things? Have you ever had a thought like that or heard it from someone you care about? It caught me off guard but then I plucked the Weed Seed out of my mind and replaced it with I am deserving!
While not perfect I am walking the path that I believe I am called to walk. While I may slip or stumble I am walking the path. While I may get distracted or loose perspective I am walking the path. That is the beauty about my God, he will use us even if we stumble and fall, even if we are not great speakers, or are not 100% fashionable. He uses the weak, He uses those who many consider last, and makes them first.
The really interesting thing about the initial question is that it prompts the secondary question as well. If you believe that you are the master of your universe and control everything then you are deserving of all the good and bad that comes into your life. If you are a believer of the Power and Grace of God then you believe that His will be done. Whatever your school of thought is you have to know that you are deserving.
One of my favorite verses from the bible are "Seek and you shall find, Ask and it shall be given, Knock and the door shall be open..." (my emphasis). Whatever we are looking for we will find. If we want to see lazy, uncaring people in world we will see that in everyone we meet. If we want to see beauty and grace and mercy that is what we will see.
I was also thinking about my mom, and the sacrifices she made for us growing up. As a single mom with 3 of us in the house and one just leaving it was a struggle for her but she did what she had to. I never heard my mom complain about too much. She just worked, maybe that was her way of expressing love. I was blessed to have someone who showed what unconditional love was. She is someone who will get upset, but will move past it with forgiveness. But in the moment you might not recognize that fact.
So when you stop and look around you what do you see? Do you see lack, do you feel like you are missing out on something better? If so I would humbly suggest look inward at your thoughts and pluck the weeds from your mind and replace them with new seeds of your own choice. If you choose to see negative things, it is your choice but rarely will your life get better if you focus on all things negative.