Tuesday, April 30, 2013

The Four Steps to be a Master in Tae Kwon-Do

All achievement in Tae Kwon Do is a result of a definite purpose backed by your burning desire for it’s fulfillment in your own personal reality. That is step one. This means if you don’t have a goal to work towards, how can you ever know if you are progressing or not. In TKD we have the great colored belt system for progression feedback. What about our Black belts? What should they be doing? They must take full responsibility for their own growth and progression. Setting higher written SMART goals while finding out what they need to do to advance to their next degree. Without a goal there is no purpose, without purpose it becomes to hard to get past the second degree. Step two is having a definite plan, expressed through continuous action. This means taking out your day timer (in whatever form you use – I-pad, calendar, computer) and putting down what you need to do (whether you feel like doing it or not). Then through doing small daily habits you get to the next level or degree of Black belt. Step three is keeping your mind tightly closed against all discouraging influences. We must take personal responsibility for what we let enter our conscious minds. By what we watch on T.V. or listen to in the forms of music or gossip. The last step is to find a friendly alliance of one or more persons who will encourage you to follow through with your plan and purpose. This is what your instructor and training partners do for you. Enjoy the journey. Respectfully, Sr. Master Dan Zaleski VIII www.tkdi.ca

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Your RPM for your goals!,

I am currently in a hotel in Lethbridge Alberta it is 33:35 am Kelowna time and I was woken up by thoughts. As I drove here yesterday a nice drive broken up by a 45 min delay for avalanch control, i got some news that was not the best. I teach my students that when things get tough to get around positive people. I had two travelling with me, one was asleep, and the other focused on a movie. So I turned to two great friends that are always there for me, Jesus and Tony Robins.

I usually have Tony Robins cds in my car at all times but especially on a long trip...it is NET time, meaning No Extra Time, I am driving anyway so I might as well learn while doing it. Tony, was talking about many things but one that stuck was RPM. Convenient since I was driving but also since I was spoke about goals and goal setting at a seminar the night before.

RPM stands for Rapid Planning Method, but Tony has created another name as well,
R- Results, what do you want...what do you really want. You have to get specific. The more detailed the better. I often say create the picture in your mind in High Def, with the addition of smellavision. Everything you can script in to the goal from who is there to what the smells like when you achieve the goal. The more detailed the more your mind believes it to be true, like the movie the Matrix.

P- Purpose, why do you want the goal? If your goal is to loose 10 lbs why? Do you want to earn $100000 a year why? Tony goes on to talk about the 6 basic human needs, they are listed here;

1 -Certainty/Comfort. We all want comfort. And much of this comfort comes from certainty. Of course there is no ABSOLUTE certainty, but we want certainty the car will start, the water will flow from the tap when we turn it on and the currency we use will hold its value.

2- Variety. At the same time we want certainty, we also crave variety. Paradoxically, there needs to be enough UNcertainty to provide spice and adventure in our lives.

3-Significance. Deep down, we all want to be important. We want our life to have meaning and significance. I can imagine no worse a death than to think my life didn't matter.

4-Connection/Love. It would be hard to argue against the need for love. We want to feel part of a community. We want to be cared for and cared about.

5-Growth. There could be some people who say they don't want to grow, but I think they're simply fearful of doing so—or perhaps NOT doing so. To become better, to improve our skills, to stretch and excel may be more evident in some than others, but it's there.

6-Contribution. The desire to contribute something of value—to help others, to make the world a better place than we found it is in all of us.
More information about his books and seminars is available on his website : TonyRobbins.com.

Through these 6 basic needs we derive our purpose for wanting what we want. And it is the purpose that will help you to create a;

M- MAP (Massive Action Plan) of what you need to do to accomplish the goal but also the desire to overcome the destractions, the stories you will tell yourself to avoid getting started. The map needs to detailed ideas of how you are going to accomplish the goal...want to lose 10 lbs, I will run 5 times a week. The map also includes contingency plans incase plan A is not working or can not work...bad back, knee, hip, ankle...not able to run, I will swim. No pool I will walk, use the elliptical machine whatever...have some alternatives and take action.

There is a school of thought that is just thinking about what I want will bring it to me. I believe that is true 100% of the time. What the visualizing and meditating will do is bring people into your life that can help, guide even mentor you to reaching the goal. Being physically fit, earn your black belt, or running a marathon, getting the promotion at work. No amount of you thinking about it will bring you closer to those things. Some people are very in tune and can attract things into their lives. That is a gift I have yet to receive from God.

Happy Goal setting, have a great weekend.

Thursday, April 4, 2013

The Art of Asking

Just watched an awesome TEDtalk video by Amanda Palmer on the art of asking.  And this really struck a cord with me.  Funny because Amanda is a musician and her talk struck a cord...do you get it? Anyway...

Amanda is a lady whose gives her music away and was able to generate 1.2 Million dollars?!?!  She simply asks for her fans to support her.  Watch the video and it will make more sense.  It is very powerful.

But it brings to a line I use Ask you shall...Receive.  The hard part fr me is the asking.  As Amanda said there is a sense of shame, of sense of it looks like you can not accomplish the job on your own, a sense of vulnerability.  Those statements are true, except the shame.  We can not accomplish the job on our own, and we are vulnerable.  The problem comes from saying those things like they are bad, or wrong.

There is nothing wrong with wanting others to help you or wanting help others.  In fact if you don't allow others to help you are blocking the circle of giving.

Last month I had to get some wood for the martial arts school for board breaking.  I didn't own a truck, so I had to ask for help.  This was and is probably one of the toughest things I had to do.  I have gotten wood 3 times, first time I went to a friend and was going to borrow his Nissan Pathfinder to load 400 board feet of wood into.  Not an easy task, he offered to come and help, I said "Sure that would be great"  meanwhile inside I felt shame for him "feeling" he had to help.  Second time I went to another friend who had a truck who was not using it, I felt better about asking because at least she did not help.  Third time I went to the ultimate source of displaying vulnerability Facebook.  This was huge for me, because what if I got no reply that would mean I was rejected.  Not just my request but me personally.  I know it sounds funny but that is the thought process for so many of us.  We script things in our mind.  Reality is I had lots of people offer help and one friend who said I could use his truck but that he was free and would love to help with loading.  It worked out great we had a great talk about his recent trip about where he came from, how he ended up here.  So in the simple act  of asking for help, and accepting the gift (use of the truck and the help) I was able to make a better connection with someone.

Too often we don't ask for help because we are afraid to make a deeper connection, afraid to show people we are vulnerable and the we need help in our life.  I hate to break it to you but you would not be where you are wherever you are with out help. Help from the doctor at birth, help from a friend during school, help from a coach, a teacher, co-worker, or help from your parents at some point during life, or help from God (you can call it the universe or infinite intelligence).  The point is it is okay to ask for help, it is okay to accept help, it is okay to have that closer connection to someone else.

I was having coffee with a friend, and texted him to ask if I could get anything for him so that it was there for him when he arrived.  I received a text (I thought it was from him) Saying I could use a truck I have to move a couch"  I thought that was weird, not at all what I expected.  I replied okay let me work on the truck can I get you a coffee or tea?  The person replied back "Is this not ....?"  I said "No".  Long story short this person texted the wrong number.  Rather than leave it as a mistake on their part.  I followed up with them to make sure they had indeed gotten a truck to move the couch, I even offered my friends truck to help.  

If we do not connect we can not really exist, or at least it is not nearly as much fun.  And life is about Enjoying the Journey.


Chris Rowe

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Are you Deserving?

Out on my run this morning, I had a thought...1st one of the year (run outside that is).  It was really more of a question. Am I deserving?  Deserving of what?  All good things.

It started with me praying to God about strength and courage for things that occur in life.  I said "Although I am not deserving..." then it hit me.

Why did I say that?  Is that not planting the seed of doubt in my mind that I don't deserve good things?  Have you ever had a thought like that or heard it from someone you care about?  It caught me off guard but then I plucked the Weed Seed out of my mind and replaced it with I am deserving!

While not perfect I am walking the path that I believe I am called to walk.  While I may slip or stumble I am walking the path.  While I may get distracted or loose perspective I am walking the path.  That is the beauty about my God, he will use us even if we stumble and fall, even if we are not great speakers, or are not 100% fashionable.  He uses the weak, He uses those who many consider last, and makes them first.

The really interesting thing about the initial question is that it prompts the secondary question as well.  If you believe that you are the master of your universe and control everything then you are deserving of all the good and bad that comes into your life.  If you are a believer of the Power and Grace of God then you believe that His will be done. Whatever your school of thought is you have to know that you are deserving.  

One of my favorite verses from the bible are "Seek and you shall find, Ask and it shall be given, Knock and the door shall be open..." (my emphasis).  Whatever we are looking for we will find.  If we want to see lazy, uncaring people in world we will see that in everyone we meet.  If we want to see beauty and grace and mercy that is what we will see.

I was also thinking about my mom, and the sacrifices she made for us growing up.  As a single mom with 3 of us in the house and one just leaving it was a struggle for her but she did what she had to.  I never heard my mom complain about too much.  She just worked, maybe that was her way of expressing love.  I was blessed to have someone who showed what unconditional love was.  She is someone who will get upset, but will move past it with forgiveness.  But in the moment you might not recognize that fact.

So when you stop and look around you what do you see?  Do you see lack, do you feel like you are missing out on something better?  If so I would humbly suggest look inward at your thoughts and pluck the weeds from your mind and replace them with new seeds of your own choice.  If you choose to see negative things, it is your choice but rarely will your life get better if you focus on all things negative.


Chris Rowe